Hello, how are you? It’s good to be here. I’m Cliff Yablon, but some of you may already know me from Bob Kincaid’s show as Reverbo, Critic-At-Large. No, that’s not an old photo of me. That’s President Rufus T. Firefly from Duck Soup, who when asked by the Ambassador of Sylvania if war could be prevented, remarked “It’s too late. I’ve already paid a month’s rent on the battlefield.” The humor there is a bit tempered by the fact that the previous president of our own country basically did just that and worse in Iraq. As leader of the bankrupt nation of Freedonia, Firefly also reduced workers’ hours by shortening their lunch breaks, something George Jr. and his handlers were no doubt considering.

In Horse Feathers, Groucho sings “Whatever It Is, I’m Against It.” Sound familiar?

So is everything just an endless movie or is this real life? Anymore, it’s hard to tell. As Twain once said, “Sometimes I wonder if the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.”

But, back to my intro. As much fun as I have listening to Bob, and emailing and calling his show for two years, why not see if this works in print, and hopefully adds to the already high level of thoughtful and entertaining discourse. In short, I’ve been invited to be a columnist on the HORN blog. My literary arena is not that of journalism, but of commentary and satire, and I hope you come along, too. Sound like fun? I’ll say. As Critic-At-Large, just about everything is fair game, and while I try to do my homework, what I may sometimes lack in the erudition department I believe I can make up for in the comedy sector. Somewhere I remember reading someone a lot smarter than I who suggested that arguably every human act is shaped in some form by politics, that in fact, our entire lives and the choices we make have some political framework. As Richard K. Morgan said in Altered Carbon, “The personal is political.” There. I’ve just given us a pass to go anywhere we want.

Anyway, the airheads and fools of the world deserve all the ridicule intelligent people can dish out, and most of them ask for it. And those who promote reason, dignity and honor deserve our praise.

So what do we mean by comedy? It’s subjective, to be sure, but for me the best kind demonstrates consistency. One way to find out it is to apply a simple test to an idea, event, or even a word, and ask yourself, does this at least stay as funny, if not actually get funnier, the more you think about it? Here’s a concept: hindquarters. Does that meet the funny test? See what I mean?

Try the test with this headline: Spotlight on South Carolina. Or this idea:  Embracing your inner moron. Passes with flying colors, I think. High jinks and monkeyshines await.

Let’s talk more about me. I like, not necessarily in this order: Kurt Vonnegut, The Onion, Dr. Strangelove, Claudia Cardinale, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, Salvador Dali, surf instrumentals, and private-eye jazz themes from late 50s television. As a matter of fact, I wish there was a way to have that Mancini-styled crime jazz playing in the background every time I spoke. I like vegetables and fruits but I have made peace with carrots: I don’t like them, and that’s that. I think in italics. I’m in love with those gorgeous French astro-physicists from the Go-Go 60s – you know the ones – and I have finally discovered my spiritual community. I realized I’m a Humanist. I don’t suffer for any gods and they don’t suffer for me. Most of us have our hands full dealing with our own lives, not to mention other human beings, and the last thing we need is to throw some supernatural creatures into the mix. I dig Joe Biden; that guy is one smooth V.P. And I can summarize Arlen Spector’s political career in four words: single brain cell theory.

I grew up in the East, then spent most of my life in Colorado, presently live in the South (my astrological sign is the possum), and will soon head north again to Maryland. At one time I thought I was a conservative Republican, but the only way to describe what happened to that party is madness. I share the ideals of progressives, whatever their stripe, and my appreciation of art and culture transcends party lines. My search for a Nelson Rockefeller Pez dispenser goes on. (That vice-presidential Pez series? Impossible to find a complete set.)

I’m fine with capitalism, I just don’t appreciate the reckless kind. When you put profits over people you’ve stepped over the line, and even the shitbrains ought to grasp that. Democracy doesn’t work everywhere–you wonder how well it’s still working here– so I don’t condone dropping it on people, unsolicited, from 10,000 feet. I hate those who conflate patriotism with loyalty, the truth is never a matter of opinion, and I dislike bamboozlery of any kind. There’s another one. Try saying the word bamboozle without grinning.

Are you still with me? This is what happens all too often. Some of you know exactly how this works. One thought leads to another and before you know it, you’ve been on the air with Bob for half an hour. I also realize this will be tough sledding if the pessimism level stays too high, but though I’ve been politically aware since the 60s, never before have I been so cognizant and awed– and infuriated– by the power of the forces against us, and how readily our elected officials will whore for them. It is definitively clear to me there is a vibrant third party in american politics– the Corporate Party– that’s enjoyed great success by sponsoring the two other parties that actually appear on our ballots. With few exceptions, the United States Senate is basically a club of fat, dysfunctional aristocrats. That’s dismaying; there’s no doubt about it. These people are supposed to be working for us.

A friend of mine once remarked that the world as we knew it ended on December 31, 1969, and it’s hard to dispute that. It’s 2010, folks, and we’re still arguing about the same things – the economy, poverty, the environment, education, taxes, energy, security, et al. Isn’t it about time we figured out the role of government and got it rollin’ for everybody? We can’t just set things on cruise control anymore; that’s long gone. Is anyone going to step up and actually fix anything while I’m still around? It’s still the People against the Establishment.  With apologies to the Ramones, Southern Culture on the Skids, and surf music’s Third Wave, you can argue rock ‘n’ roll basically had it’s last hurrah at Woodstock and then Altamont. The passionate idealism and alternative directions of the 60s and the voices who championed that collapsed in apathy or were silenced by assassination. Meanwhile, Honeywell released the first under $10,000 16-bit mini-computer, the H316 (designed for the kitchen, no less), the middle class was peaking, and The New Frontier culminated that summer when three Americans actually made it to the freaking moon, and the Commies couldn’t even make a decent car. The 1960s was the ultimate manifestation of the United States.

I haven’t forgotten about Vietnam and never can. Though I didn’t serve in it, that would have been my war. For many of us, The Great Society was far from great. To be sure, the 60s, like today, was a time of unbelievable extremes, but nevertheless – and unlike now – we were poised to realize and flourish in our incredible potential. About all we can do now is put up signs on each coast that say “Closed For Repairs.” I think it could take a generation – possibly less if certain people either pitch in and help or sit down and shut up – but so far there’s no evidence of that happening anytime soon. And whatever the outcome, it will never be the same here again.

At any rate, some say it was essentially over forty-one years ago, that the whole thing came to an end on the last day of 1969 just like the final twenty second crescendo of the Beatles’ A Day In The Life. That we were right there– as close as we’ve ever come– in the midst of a glorious, triumphant run. Instead of the floor pie-eating Homer Simpson we had the trim, space-age Jetsons, and Martha and The Vandellas asked, “Are we ready for a brand new beat?” It felt like we were on the verge of something we’ve never quite re-captured. Has it really been all downhill from there? Or have we always existed, as Joe Bageant says, inside an elaborately constructed hologram of America, our values and feelings– in fact, our decisions– already selected and programmed for us? Then we are not only faced with taking back our government and our country, but our minds. When I visualize again the all-too-recent image of that smirking weasel we got for eight years at the beginning of the 21st century it’s hard not to be nostalgic for a brighter time.

Well, we might have come close, but darkness returned with Nixon, Watergate, and then more madness with Reagan, Iran-Contra, the Bushes, the Second Great Depression – we all know what happened. (Vonnegut was always on to it, too. At the end of his 1982 novel Deadeye Dick, he wrote: “You want to know something? We are still in the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages—they haven’t ended yet.”) It’s tempting to speculate how different things would have been had both Kennedys lived to serve their terms. But they didn’t. And as much as I think the 1960s was the most creative, energetic and intense decade in which to grow up, the fact is, that’s my generation and we didn’t get it done either.  

Our moon adventure reminded me of that scene in Vacation, when the Griswolds visit the Grand Canyon on their way to Wally World. Chevy looks over the rim at that breathtaking vista for all of five seconds and announces “Well, we’re outta here.” Hell, all we had was a cup of coffee up there, and then it was “Buzz? Neil. Where are you? All right, I see you. Listen Buzz, Houston really wants you to stop jumping around out there now, and get back to the ship, okay? We gotta go.”  What happened to the moon bases? Where are those futuristic helium-filled pants I ordered forty-five years ago? We let our future become hijacked, plain and simple. Instead of Tomorrowland, we ended up with Greedyland, our hands still grimy with oil and the earth still pockmarked with bomb craters, and all but a connected few of us broke and disillusioned. Or downright crazy. And deadly. Look out for the Angry White American With A Gun. He’s polluted with right-wing hate, he’s armed and activated, and he may be coming to a town near you. Or, flying into one, as happened in our latest domestic attack on February 18, by the terrorist Andrew Stack III.

I know Bob Kincaid and the HORN community gets it. It’s clear Bob and his listeners understand that we really are all downstream, that the actions of people and nature are undeniably connected.  And so he and the network keep pushing ahead–pressing on–heading on, but what we do is up to us. Blatantly, our adversaries refuse to get it, and the worst of them have the arrogance to believe they not only live upstream, but that it’s their stream to piss in. With the mass media awash in deranged idiots, and Fox sticking a mic and a camera into the face of every nutcase around, it’s seems like a bozo explosion everywhere you turn. At times you’d think we were back in the 14th century. The only way you can tell it’s not is because those new high-def plasma TVs make the brain-damaged Michele Bachmann seem so lifelike.

Groucho was almost so surreal at times that the other actors often didn’t get his jokes. Some readers may not always get mine. I know Homer doesn’t. He claims he does, though. “I get jokes…I get stuff.” Yeah. Homer Simpson, Atomic Dad. The icon for our time. In any case, while I’ve read and listened to many, most of my thoughts and words are mine. Whether you write by nature or profession, the key is, through a combination of invention and synthesis, to find your own voice and then hope it’s a perceptive and engaging one. And always be open to constructive criticism. By the way, if anyone’s nodded off next to you, please tell them I’m sure my pieces won’t all be this long, but I wanted my opening night to be a strong one.

That about does it for now. I better save some copy for my next installments if this ends up working out. What have I forgotten? The most important part. The HORN could be on the cusp of breaking out right now. This may be their time. I think the internet is an excellent vehicle for progressive radio; that’s where broadcasting is headed and where there’s room to establish new and alternative markets. The HORN was out front on that and has been chugging along for a while now, building an impressive foundation and reputation. The landscape has changed and this network could be in position to really make something happen. With enough support we can increase our efforts, magnify our message, and be a leading liberal voice into the next phase of exposure and attention.

I’m pleased to be associated with everyone on the HORN and glad for the opportunity to contribute to the cause. Hopefully I’ve opened up an entertaining and stimulating dialog and a range of topics. Your thoughts, comments and feedback are welcomed and appreciated. That’s the idea.

Reverbo

Critic-At-Large

Be sure to tune in Saturday evening from 7 pm to 10 pm (ET) for the premier of Action Point with Cynthia Black, right here on the HORN! Here’s what Cynthia has on tap for tonight:

BUZZFLASH INTERVIEW, by Meg White

With the demise of liberal talk radio station Air America last month, liberals lost their voice in commercial radio. But is that really such a huge loss?

Bob Kincaid, a progressive radio host based in rural West Virginia and co-founder of The Head On Radio Network (HORN), will be the first to tell you he’s not happy Air America is gone.

“It’s a sad thing,” Kincaid told me in a telephone interview Wednesday. “I don’t want less liberal radio; I want more liberal radio.”

As the host of Head On with Bob Kincaid, he welcomed left-wing competition against his online radio show, which has outlasted the recently-defunct liberal experiment of the AM airwaves. But he does have a strong opinion as to how we got to this barren landscape in progressive radio.

“I think part of the reason Air America failed was because it was set up to work on a right-wing business model,” Kincaid said. “I think it’s highly unlikely that [model] is going to be successful down the road.”

Read the rest of this wonderful interview, including how Bob feels about advertisers, over at BuzzFlash. Be sure to subscribe while you’re over there!

More importantly, what will you do to make sure he stays ON the air? This is a full reprint of Guy’s announcement, as it appears on his blog.

The Impossible Dream

Let me apologize beforehand for seeming to sound defeated, but I admit to having never felt lower than at this moment.

For nearly 8 years I have been on a mission to do all I could do to help take our country back to its Democratic ideals, ending the wars and attaining economic justice for all Americans.  I have given it my best effort.  I, mistakenly, believed that if I added my voice to the political wars that I could help level the playing field between the Right and the Left in the media competition.  I was wrong……terribly wrong for in those eight years we have gained not an inch in that battle.  The Right continues to run over us in the media and are even increasing their lead every single day.  Why?  Not because they have a message that is good for America.  Quite the contrary, their message is one of fear and destruction.  The real reason is that corporate America and average Americans on the Right are ready and willing to finance the Right-Wing media no matter what the cost.  They have proven, over and over again that they will pay anything necessary to dominate America’s airwaves.  I have to congratulate them for they have done a masterful job of leaving us in the dust.

Democrats, on the other hand, have not taken the media competition seriously at all.  Oh yes, there was the anemic Air America venture and MSNBC is tilted heavily to the Left but Air America has been a huge failure and MSNBC hasn’t a tiny fraction of the viewership of Fox News.  We have LOST ground.  Why?  Because the Left is apathetic and not willing to bear the burden of the cost of establishing a real media presence, especially in talk radio.  Those of us on the Left who have been bringing  you honest, straightforward political truth day after day have had to beg and borrow just to keep going.  On my own show I have tried to solicit enough help to pay the bills but except for a small handful of loyal listeners, my pleas have gone unanswered.  I do want to emphasize my everlasting gratitude to those who have contributed to the program.  They know who they are and they know I appreciate their efforts so very much. Democrats and Lefties want a media presence but have not supported it in any meaningful way.  Oh sure, Lefties will put forth token efforts to try and fight back against the Right but, mostly their efforts are weak and meaningless.  Take the recent boycott of Glenn Beck’s sponsors.  Does anyone REALLY think that did anything but strengthen Beck and Fox?  All it did was get him more publicity and a bigger audience than before.  The sponsors will come back and he will rise to even greater ratings.  Of course, this didn’t cost any of those making noise against Beck a dime, just further evidence that those on the Left will bark but they won’t bite.

It appears that we have lost this battle.  It appears that even though we went to the polls and won the House, Senate and the White House that we don’t have what it takes to follow through.  We are in the majority yet we are losing almost everything we set out to win with this new administration.  The war?  Its getting bigger.  Healthcare?  Its becoming a joke.  All of this caused by the apathy of the Left and their unwillingness to put their money where their mouths are to support and build a media machine on the Left that will effectively combat the propaganda coming from the Right 24/7.

Frankly, I’m weary of the battle.  I’ve been in it for almost 8 years and have yet to see any real success.  I’ve met with countless individuals, potential patrons, political groups on the Left all over this nation.  I’ve had promise after promise from some of those people that they would help us get our show into high gear.  Mostly all I have to claim from those meetings are a pile of broken promises and empty words of support.  I’ve spent what is to me a large amount of my personal money to try and keep the ship afloat but we are taking on water at a very rapid pace and cannot keep above water for much longer.

It is both disappointing and humiliating for me to have to write this post on the blog.  I’ve mentioned some of these same points many times before and to no avail.  It saddens me to think that these nearly 8 years have gone for naught but after much reflection I cannot at this point see the use in going on.  Most likely I will join the others from the Left who have tried and failed to convince even our own people that without an effective media presence our nation will be lost to the Right-Wing crazies who will have steam rolled us into submission simply by owning the airwaves of America.

I have been of a mind to give this up in the past but have never set a date to do it.  Now I am promising that if we don’t find some funding of some kind in the next few weeks we will do our last program on December 8th which will be our 8 year anniversary + one day.

It is said that winners never quit and quitters never win.   However, in my opinion, if you never win and you never quit you are just plain stupid.

• You can support The Guy James Show by clicking here.

For those who missed Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment on Countdown last night, here’s your chance to watch it in all its glory!

What is it going to take to let Congress know that the longer they keep on with their pissing match, Americans are DYING daily because they have no health care. We cannot wait any longer, Capitol Hill, so GET WITH IT!

Yesterday afternoon, Politico posted an article with the headline “Bailouts could cost U.S. $23 trillion.” The headline number, pulled from a report by TARP Inspector General Neil Barofsky, made it seem as if the overall cost of all the economic rescue programs will eventually total $23.7 trillion. The huge number made its way through the media like wildfire, and was cited over and over by the likes of Lou Dobbs and Sean Hannity.

However, what everyone using this number failed to mention is what it means and how it was calculated. In the report, Barofsky clearly wrote that the number was “designed to suggest the scale and scope of those efforts and not to provide a firm financial statement.

To arrive at $23 trillion, Barofsky simply added together every financial rescue program that has been proposed, including those that were discontinued or never even started.

I urge everyone to finish reading this article over at Think Progress.

Courtesy The Hollywood Reporter:

The hostility between Fox News Channel and MSNBC reached a fever pitch Wednesday when a Fox producer infiltrated the GE shareholders meeting.

Just before GE re-elected board members, company brass were hit with questions from shareholders critical of an alleged leftward political slant at MSNBC.

But one of those questions came from Jesse Waters, a producer on “The O’Reilly Factor” whose criticisms were cut short when his microphone was cut off, according to several attendees. Waters apparently did not publicly identify himself as a Fox employee.

Waters has built a reputation as an ambush interviewer, specializing in on-the-street confrontations. But this is arguably the boldest move by a Fox newsie to utilize the tactic inside their chief rival’s tent, as it were.

O’Reilly and MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann have been involved in a running feud for several years, but the pissing match between the two has of late started to envelope other parts of the News Corp. and GE empires.

GE pointed out that Waters had Fox News cameras waiting outside the Orlando meeting.

-Article Continues…

And 99% of the for-profit media ignores the story.

Tenn. Church Shooter Pleads Guilty, Gets Life

Out-of-work truck driver pleads guilty to Tenn. church shooting that killed 2, wounded 6

Police cordon the entrance to Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church in Knoxville, Tenn., on Sunday July 27, 2008, after a gunman entered the church and fatally shot one church member and critically wounded several others.

(Duncan Mansfield/AP Photo)

An out-of-work truck driver smiled Monday as he pleaded guilty to killing two people and wounding six others at a Tennessee church last summer because he considered the liberal church “a den of un-American vipers.”

“Yes, ma’am, I am guilty as charged,” Jim D. Adkisson, 58, told Criminal Court Judge Mary Beth Leibowitz before she sentenced him to life in prison without parole on two counts of first-degree murder and six of attempted murder.

Adkisson was scheduled to stand trial next month in the July 2008 rampage at the Tennessee Valley United Unitarian Church in Knoxville, but decided to enter a plea deal that virtually guarantees he will never leave prison alive.

Public defender Mark Stephens said a mental health expert determined Adkisson was competent to make the plea, though Stephens was prepared to argue at trial that his client was insane at the time of the crime. Adkisson believed entering the plea was “the honorable thing to do,” Stephens said.

Assistant District Attorney Leslie Nassios said Adkisson gave a statement to police and left a suicide note. They showed he planned the attack on the church, where his ex-wife was once a member, because he hated the church’s liberal politics and Democrats, whom he believed “were responsible for his woes.”

Continue Reading

Did I sleep through a year or three?  Or is it really only two weeks since inauguration?

Administration Is Described as Being at a Loss

from wa po politics by Ceci Connolly

Long before the Senate had a chance to consider his nomination to be secretary of health and human services, Thomas A. Daschle was hard at work pressing President Obama’s signature domestic policy goal of revamping the U.S. health system.

Courtesy BradBlog:

While former radio talk show host and author Al Franken is consistently described in corporate media reports as “comedian Al Franken”, it seems it’s the legal team of former Senator Norm Coleman who are providing the laughs in the first days of the U.S. Senate election contest up in Minnesota.

When even the unapologetic, rightwing, “Franken is stealing the election!” nutcases and conspiracy theorists at Powerline describe Coleman’s legal case as being of “Three Stooges quality”, you know these guys must really be falling apart.

Such seems the case again on yesterday’s Day 2 of the trial, following the disastrous Day 1 when the 3-judge panel tossed out doctored evidence, as submitted by Coleman’s team. Today’s Day 3 doesn’t seem to be going much better for them, either.

Yesterday, two of the six voter/witnesses called by Coleman, to testify how they were disenfranchised when their absentee ballots were rejected, actually admitted that their ballots were properly tossed because they were, in some way, incorrectly — or even fraudulently — cast…

The Uncounted

TPM’s excellent on-the-scene coverage from Eric Kleefeld describes the comedy of errors on the stand yesterday:

One of the voters was Douglas Thompson, who admitted under oath that his girlfriend filled out his absentee ballot application for him, signing his name with her own hand and purporting to be himself. His ballot was rejected because the signature on his ballot envelope (his own) did not match the signature on the application (his girlfriend’s). The Coleman team’s argument appears to be that he is still a legal voter in Minnesota, as the signature on the ballotwas his own, even if admitted dishonesty was involved in getting the ballot.    

Keep in mind: Thompson’s story came up during the direct examination by Coleman lawyer James Langdon. So the Coleman camp fully knew this information and decided to make him into a witness.

Another one of the voters, an older man named Wesley Briest, initially responded that he voted at the polls — not by absentee. Then Coleman attorney James Langdon showed him his absentee ballot envelope, reminding him that he did not go to the polls, too.

So one of the six voters called by Coleman to testify admitted his ballot should have been rejected, since his signature was forged by his girlfriend, while the another couldn’t remember whether he’d voted at the polls or via absentee. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, wheeee! Doink!

The latter voter went on to admit, under cross, that “his wife, who served as the witness on his ballot, did not fully complete the witness section of the absentee ballot.” So yup, that would disqualify the ballot, according to the rule of law.

Now we’ve made the case in the past that absentee ballots are rejected too easily, everywhere, particularly in the cases where signatures are thought to be mismatches from the voter’s registration form. We concurred with San Diego election attorney Ken Karan, who wrote via email following the questionable rejection of ballots in a contested election in CA that “It should not be as simple to discard a ballot because the signatures don’t match after a subjective comparison of signatures by people without any recognized expertise in the recognition of handwriting.”

“Furthermore, if the signatures don’t match,” Karan added, “then that should mean that someone is trying to vote someone else’s ballot. Now, that is voter fraud. Every questionable ballot should either be verified with the voter whose registration signature is at issue, or it should be the subject of a criminal prosecution.”

-Article Continued @ Sourced Site.