Conservatizing The Bible

Courtesy Belief.net


The eager young men at Conservapedia are p.o.’d that the Bible might be seen as too liberal. So they’ve come up with the Wiki-style Conservative Bible Project, to make sure the Lord doesn’t go all wobbly on us. Excerpt:

As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:[1]

Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias

Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, “gender inclusive” language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity

Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[2]

Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[3] defective translations use the word “comrade” three times as often as “volunteer”; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as “word”, “peace”, and “miracle”

Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as “gamble” rather than “cast lots”;[4] using modern political terms, such as “register” rather than “enroll” for the census

Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.

Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

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About shinai

The Original HORN News Ninja

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3 Responses to “Conservatizing The Bible”

  1. foxholeatheist Says:

    Let’s analyze some of these statements.
    First let’s look at “not emasculated.” Basically what these conservatives want is a justification to discriminate against women. If the original biblical text is to be followed all women are nothing but slaves in a male dominated society. So what these conservatives are saying here is they want to enslave women just like in all the parts of the world they hate, like Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia.
    Next, they want to write the bible above the seventh grade level. This means that the average American would not be able to read the bible. American magazines and news papers write at the seventh grade level because that is the reading level of the average American. This means conservatives want a text that the average person would need an authority figure to explain the meaning of the bible. Basically they want to enslave the poor masses with this tactic.
    Moving on, they want to use words that would change the meaning of the bible. This means they want to mistranslate the original bible and write a text that says what they, conservatives want people to believe.
    About the logic of hell: Simply put there is no logic to the concept of hell. According to Christian monotheist belief, there is an omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevelant being that created everything and loves all people. A being that is all good would never create something like hell which is the sum of all that is evil. An all good being would not send someone they love to a place of eternal pain and suffering. Simply put, according to the attributes of the Christian god, it would never create evil in the first place and would never send a human there in the second. This means that there is no hell or it is not for people. The only alternative is that god is not all powerful or he does not love all people.
    Here is my question; if these conservatives actually believe in a supreme being, are they not just a little worried what god will think about them changing his divine message to fit their own personal ideology?

  2. shinai Says:

    Thanks for your input, I frankly had not thought about it that way. Nonetheless, I still think its not a bad thing that the conservatives are rewriting the Bible. If they do this, they will be opening a huge can of worms that will eventually be bad for Christianity. It will be interesting to see if they actually add books to the current cannon.

    -Shinai.

  3. faith Says:

    Let me guess…they are going to rewrite the parable of the money changers to make it as if Jesus threw out the less effective money changers, letting the ones who could produce a better profit margin stay in the church!

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